downfall

and after a while
you became my enemy.
and it’s hard to tell why.
I just couldn’t shake off that feeling.
that deep, strong, intuitional feeling that told me
you wouldn’t treat me the way I deserved.
I felt hurt.
and although you are the best at turning things around
at some point you just couldn’t anymore.
because I knew for sure you mistreated me.
because I knew all I did was waiting for you.
you wouldn’t treat me the way I hoped.
and I felt like you stopped trying.
and I felt like you stopped caring.
I will not fight against your demons.
I will not fight against alcohol.
how often did you ask me to drink with you,
to swallow pills with you.
you can never stop.
it’s a battle I can only lose.
how come
as the strongest man I know,
you are not stronger than that?

xj

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