Heartache

Gosh, I miss you.
But I even missed you when you were here.
Because you closed yourself off to me.
Gave me the worst feelings about myself.
That I am not worthy.
And don‘t deserve the devotion I needed.
You thought I asked for an unhealthy love.
I might have.
I would have still loved you
wholeheartedly.

Now I am not yours anymore.
Not whole.
Trying to figure myself out
and the meaning of good affectionate feelings.
Searching for the love I need
and deserve
unsure about myself and the world
and still slightly
heartbroken.

xxj

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