Blurred lines

blurred lines.
cause on some days
you don‘t want to look closely,
or you don‘t want to be seen,
but chances are you‘re missing something,
the details in the melodiousness of her voice,
or the warm glistening in her eyes
when she looks at you,
you might miss out on the tiny bits of her soul,
that she pours into her sentences,
or the stories she tells you,
when she pauses in silence.
you might miss to notice the pure good
that she wants to give you,
or mistake her soothing touch as unintentional,
although it just brought you home.
you might miss that she is ready to be discovered,
that the thunderstorm in her heart has passed
for a few minutes
to leave a gentle morning dew.
chances are, you would have
and could have grasped her.

but you missed the moment
and you missed the spark.

– xxj

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CgrcqsMo5R3/

Ende

Du sagtest, ich sei selbst daran schuld.
Selbst daran schuld, dass du so mit mir umgehst.
Dass du mich nicht wertschätzt.

Du hast recht.

downfall

and after a while
you became my enemy.
and it’s hard to tell why.
I just couldn’t shake off this feeling.
this deep, strong, intuitive feeling, which told me,
you wouldn’t treat me the way I deserve.
I felt hurt.
and although you are the best at turning things around,
at a certain point you just couldn’t anymore.
because I knew for sure, you mistreated me.
because I knew, all I did was waiting for you.
you wouldn’t treat me the way I hoped you would.
and I felt like you stopped trying.
and I felt like you stopped caring.
I will not fight against your demons.
I will not fight against alcohol, cocaine…
how often did you ask me to drink with you,
to fly with you.
you can never stop.
it’s a battle I can only lose.
how come
as the strongest man I know,
you are not stronger than that?

xj

Whoami

 

“Maybe you were right maybe I was wrong.
Maybe you were everything I needed and more.
Who am I to think that you’re not enough.
Who am I to break your heart and give up.

Whoami, whoami. x2

I wish I could make my system clear.
I wish the best and only of it an expression of the love that disappeared.
I still got demons don’t you know.
Oh I promised you the world and all I ever gave you was a lack of hope.

I’m sorry I wasn’t sane for your loving.
I’m sorry I wasn’t sane.

I’m sorry for all of the pain in your loving.
Sorry for all of the pain.

It was never my intention to break what we had.
Never my intention to break.

I’m sorry I left you in vein.

Whoami, whoami. x2″
-Prince of Eden

xxj

[thosearenotmywords]
[volumeup]
[lyricsonworldoff]

Vor dem Rückwärts

Moving forward – Kyle Lionhart

 

“Love is just a better word than
Darling let me take your burden
Though I’ve got mine

[…]

And I want to feel like we’re moving forward
I don’t want to feel nervous
But I know we ain’t perfect

[…]

Cause I’m moving forward
Just to know what’s back
No reasons came
For what I don’t have
Cause I’m moving forward
Just to know what’s back…”
– Kyle Lionhart

Some Truth

there’s all the love. more than we could ever ask for.
but it won’t change the mess we’re in.

 

xxj

Out of your hands

You said you want to hold onto me
and turned the other way.

before you catch me, I‘ve already fallen a million times.

xxj
[disconnected.]

Below the surface

under the skin

 

she ceased putting words together to frame him, because his expansive fire doesn‘t reach her sandfilled heart no more. Not even a spark of inspiration although coated in bright worry and sorrow strokes her now. She got used to all the pinching, pushing – but not to the flames. Still, agile like water, she fluidly reshapes and reforms, creates space for the sharp edges before she bursts into drops and crashes away in waves. She sickers past roots and metals into the deep earth, where nothing can enlighten her soul, but the moon.

xxj
[maybe the wood is all that connects us. the anger we hold for one another. firmly grounded in our hearts.]

 

Small talk

Beengt
von all deinen Gefühlen,
und von dieser Abenddämmerung,
die sich in Zyklen wiederholt
– immer häufiger.
Worte haben noch nie etwas gebracht
und egal wie oft man das gleiche spricht,
es kommt nicht besser an.
Auch Lügen kann man sich schönreden,
wenn man stur genug ist.
Der Weg weiter ist manchmal der Weg raus,
oder querfeld hinab.
Ich weiss nicht, was so unklar ist in meinem Kopf,
denn in aller Deutlichkeit ist es nicht so schwierig.
Sich niederlegen in Gemütlichkeit,
schwimmen mit der Strömung.
Ich versteh das.
In der Süsse übersieht man,
wie sauer es macht.
Trotzdem wollen Regeln immer gebrochen werden,
Du weisst das am besten von allen.
Die Kunst liegt darin,
zu wiederstehn.
Eiskalt oder lodernd heiss,
das sind beides keine guten Möglichkeiten.
Und ich bin das Ringen satt.

Mein Gegner ist der,
von dem gemunkelt wird,
dass er gar nicht da ist.

xxj
[schwankelmütig.]